It actually looked bigger in real life.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, October 10, 2008
A day in the life...
Another quick post today before running off to try to convince Jared not to eat Mexican again today for lunch.
I thought we'd take a quick jaunt through the life of the Jared on a typical "night out"
It of course starts with a large meal and a plate left so clean they probably don't even have to wash it afterwards:
Follow that up with a stiff drink (scotch -- at least 12 years old) and a relaxing sit in his kings chair:
or maybe a stiff drink while he's doing his version of responsible parenting:
After he's done with that it's time for a 20-30 minute hang. (sometimes he'll drink a beer while hanging.. it's great)
Then it's time to head to the bar and have another "normal" evening out! (can you guess what that thing is on fire? Yep, that's a chick)
I thought we'd take a quick jaunt through the life of the Jared on a typical "night out"
It of course starts with a large meal and a plate left so clean they probably don't even have to wash it afterwards:
Follow that up with a stiff drink (scotch -- at least 12 years old) and a relaxing sit in his kings chair:
or maybe a stiff drink while he's doing his version of responsible parenting:
After he's done with that it's time for a 20-30 minute hang. (sometimes he'll drink a beer while hanging.. it's great)
Then it's time to head to the bar and have another "normal" evening out! (can you guess what that thing is on fire? Yep, that's a chick)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
That's Jared's Neighbors
Just a quick post before my power dies again....
Jared told me a story today about a guy in his neighborhood that refuses to clean up his yard because "we won't be around in a few days anyway" -- he thinks the end of the world is near.
Jared told me this story at lunch and I jokingly suggested that Jared might see the guy walking down the street naked later today yelling out "I'm going out the same way I came in!"
Well Jared thought this was so funny that he accidentally snorted hot sauce up his nose. This was some hot "use-one-drop-at-a-time" shit... This changed the pitch of his voice as he shouted "IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"
That's about it for today.... Jared loves the power outage -- he's in full Eagle-Scout mode this week....
Jared runs for the toilet:
Jared told me a story today about a guy in his neighborhood that refuses to clean up his yard because "we won't be around in a few days anyway" -- he thinks the end of the world is near.
Jared told me this story at lunch and I jokingly suggested that Jared might see the guy walking down the street naked later today yelling out "I'm going out the same way I came in!"
Well Jared thought this was so funny that he accidentally snorted hot sauce up his nose. This was some hot "use-one-drop-at-a-time" shit... This changed the pitch of his voice as he shouted "IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"
That's about it for today.... Jared loves the power outage -- he's in full Eagle-Scout mode this week....
Jared runs for the toilet:
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Jared's New Ride
Yesterday, Jared bought himself a new car.
Jared's dream car for the moment is the "bumble bee" transformer from the movie "Transformers"
Not the old shitty one.... The new one. Jared tells me it's the 2009 model. I don't know if that car is out yet or not but I do know this... Jared is a creature of habit.
Albert Einstein wore the same suit every day because his brilliant mind could not be cluttered with choices like that - such is Jared. Jared wears a hard rock shirt about 90% of the time, eats mexican food whenever it's an option, and has had the same haircut since I first met him in the 5th grade. His mind cannot be bothered by such trivial decisions. It has to be open and available to receive information about things such as Transformers, Lord of the Rings, and the Matrix. How else would jared be able to CRUSH his friends and family in an unfriendly game of "Trivial Persuit - Lord of the Rings Edition" (seriously).
Another example is that when jared was younger (16 ish) his dad drove a VW Jetta. When he turned 16 - they gave him the old Jetta to use as his car. When Jared got his first real job.. he bought a new jetta.
Still ANOTHER example is this... Jared likes a band called "Blue October"... I have not heard anything by them but he claims they are the shiznight.... A few weeks ago I asked him to play a song from his iPhone and he pulled it up... HE ONLY HAD BLUE OCTOBER ALBUMS ON IT. Jared finds something he likes -- and laser focuses on it.
**UPDATE** This is just another example of jared being a creature of habit. When he goes out of town and rents a car -- it MUST be the same car he has at home.. otherwise it could take 1 or 2 hours to get familiar with the instrumentation before he is ready to pull out onto the road.**UPDATE**
All of this is leading to a conclusion which you can probably foresee. Below are pictures of Jared's new car. Yes it's the same make, model, and year as his old car. The only additions that I can see are a rear sproiler and a manual transmission. If you look close you can even see the tires from his old car on it.
Enjoy the pictures...
Jared's dream:
Jared's Domain:
Jared's Reality:
Jared's dream car for the moment is the "bumble bee" transformer from the movie "Transformers"
Not the old shitty one.... The new one. Jared tells me it's the 2009 model. I don't know if that car is out yet or not but I do know this... Jared is a creature of habit.
Albert Einstein wore the same suit every day because his brilliant mind could not be cluttered with choices like that - such is Jared. Jared wears a hard rock shirt about 90% of the time, eats mexican food whenever it's an option, and has had the same haircut since I first met him in the 5th grade. His mind cannot be bothered by such trivial decisions. It has to be open and available to receive information about things such as Transformers, Lord of the Rings, and the Matrix. How else would jared be able to CRUSH his friends and family in an unfriendly game of "Trivial Persuit - Lord of the Rings Edition" (seriously).
Another example is that when jared was younger (16 ish) his dad drove a VW Jetta. When he turned 16 - they gave him the old Jetta to use as his car. When Jared got his first real job.. he bought a new jetta.
Still ANOTHER example is this... Jared likes a band called "Blue October"... I have not heard anything by them but he claims they are the shiznight.... A few weeks ago I asked him to play a song from his iPhone and he pulled it up... HE ONLY HAD BLUE OCTOBER ALBUMS ON IT. Jared finds something he likes -- and laser focuses on it.
**UPDATE** This is just another example of jared being a creature of habit. When he goes out of town and rents a car -- it MUST be the same car he has at home.. otherwise it could take 1 or 2 hours to get familiar with the instrumentation before he is ready to pull out onto the road.**UPDATE**
All of this is leading to a conclusion which you can probably foresee. Below are pictures of Jared's new car. Yes it's the same make, model, and year as his old car. The only additions that I can see are a rear sproiler and a manual transmission. If you look close you can even see the tires from his old car on it.
Enjoy the pictures...
Jared's dream:
Jared's Domain:
Jared's Reality:
Friday, September 5, 2008
That's Jared - Driving In A Parking lot
Today The J man was hungry.
I had already left to go to lunch because I also had to go to the bank and the post office. Jared had gotten to work at 9:00am and by 12:00 he had a hunger that could only be satisfied by a Penn Station East Coast sub.
Jared headed out of the office shortly after me (we have a camera that watches the parking lot -- I see all) Unfortunately since Jared is 1/8th Mexican (seriously -- I've seen this guy lay shingles like a mad man) -- he was on auto pilot and pulled into the parking lot of the Mexican restaurant up the street. Penn Station is actually around the corner, and although you can see the back of the restaurant from the parking lot Jared was in -- you can't drive to it.
Disoriented, alone, hungry, and confused he tried to determine how to get to the sub shop. His head was on a swivel, looking for any dirt path or hidden drive he could take to make his trip a few seconds quicker. In his hunger-induced rage he failed to see the giant yellow concrete pole that held a parking lot light in front of him. Jared says he was only going 5 or 6 mph but as you can see from these photos, the car was totaled. Keep in mind by "totaled" I mean it would cost more to fix the damage than the car is worth. And by "what the car is worth" -- Jared tells me about $350.00 blue book.
Jared did not return to work that day -- but I'm assuming he walked to Penn Station while he was waiting for the tow truck. Later that day I checked out the parking lot after Jared was gone. I found a piece of his car that I thought he might need and left it for him on his desk.
Check out the pics:
The Damage:
The Pole:
The Piece On Jared's Desk:
Jared's New Mode Of Transportation:
I had already left to go to lunch because I also had to go to the bank and the post office. Jared had gotten to work at 9:00am and by 12:00 he had a hunger that could only be satisfied by a Penn Station East Coast sub.
Jared headed out of the office shortly after me (we have a camera that watches the parking lot -- I see all) Unfortunately since Jared is 1/8th Mexican (seriously -- I've seen this guy lay shingles like a mad man) -- he was on auto pilot and pulled into the parking lot of the Mexican restaurant up the street. Penn Station is actually around the corner, and although you can see the back of the restaurant from the parking lot Jared was in -- you can't drive to it.
Disoriented, alone, hungry, and confused he tried to determine how to get to the sub shop. His head was on a swivel, looking for any dirt path or hidden drive he could take to make his trip a few seconds quicker. In his hunger-induced rage he failed to see the giant yellow concrete pole that held a parking lot light in front of him. Jared says he was only going 5 or 6 mph but as you can see from these photos, the car was totaled. Keep in mind by "totaled" I mean it would cost more to fix the damage than the car is worth. And by "what the car is worth" -- Jared tells me about $350.00 blue book.
Jared did not return to work that day -- but I'm assuming he walked to Penn Station while he was waiting for the tow truck. Later that day I checked out the parking lot after Jared was gone. I found a piece of his car that I thought he might need and left it for him on his desk.
Check out the pics:
The Damage:
The Pole:
The Piece On Jared's Desk:
Jared's New Mode Of Transportation:
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