Friday, September 5, 2008

That's Jared - Driving In A Parking lot

Today The J man was hungry.

I had already left to go to lunch because I also had to go to the bank and the post office. Jared had gotten to work at 9:00am and by 12:00 he had a hunger that could only be satisfied by a Penn Station East Coast sub.

Jared headed out of the office shortly after me (we have a camera that watches the parking lot -- I see all) Unfortunately since Jared is 1/8th Mexican (seriously -- I've seen this guy lay shingles like a mad man) -- he was on auto pilot and pulled into the parking lot of the Mexican restaurant up the street. Penn Station is actually around the corner, and although you can see the back of the restaurant from the parking lot Jared was in -- you can't drive to it.

Disoriented, alone, hungry, and confused he tried to determine how to get to the sub shop. His head was on a swivel, looking for any dirt path or hidden drive he could take to make his trip a few seconds quicker. In his hunger-induced rage he failed to see the giant yellow concrete pole that held a parking lot light in front of him. Jared says he was only going 5 or 6 mph but as you can see from these photos, the car was totaled. Keep in mind by "totaled" I mean it would cost more to fix the damage than the car is worth. And by "what the car is worth" -- Jared tells me about $350.00 blue book.

Jared did not return to work that day -- but I'm assuming he walked to Penn Station while he was waiting for the tow truck. Later that day I checked out the parking lot after Jared was gone. I found a piece of his car that I thought he might need and left it for him on his desk.

Check out the pics:

The Damage:



The Pole:




The Piece On Jared's Desk:


Jared's New Mode Of Transportation:

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Jared Jared Jared,

Sorry for your luck. At least you will get to work at the same time since your speed in a car and on the bicycle should be about the same. Actually the bicycle might be faster. This is why we never let you drive on trips! :-)

Pete T said...

Shiat... Sorry about the car J-man. I've read detailed accounts of how these yellow poles come to life and jump in front of cars. They usually target portly men of sub-par intelligence. Sorry that you had to fall victim to this hate-crime. I will get a sledge hammer and get vegence on your behalf. By the way, what's your favorite Penn Station sub?

Chris said...

Brings back memories of my trip to Texas with the Jared. Hertz made the critical error of not having a Ford escape available, his second favorite vehicle. Instead we had to saddle up in a very nice late model Nissan Murano. I could tell by the expression on his face this was not a good thing. I mean you would of thought he just sat in the pilot seat of a 747 as he gazed at the non- Ford Escape dash board. How in God’s earth do I make this dam thing move!!!

His ability to adapt to the strange SUV was amazing and in no time we were on our way to the first Mexican restaurant the Magellan could find.